Our Ego Can Get In the Way With Our Relationship With God

by Sydney Alexandria Ray-Tsarine

One evening a few weeks ago, I suddenly awoke with the sudden realization, that after discerning what I thought was a negative spirit, was in fact, my own ego.  

Our ego can prevent a healthy attachment to ourselves and the ego has been conditioned to believe that we have the power to control others in our own lives,  The ego can negatively impact our relationship with the God of Love by filling our minds with negative thoughts pertaining to our career, friendships, romantic relationships and all else.  

After discernment with the Holy Spirit, I began my research.  

    How are the ways our ego can negatively impact our thoughts and overall success, peace and happiness?  

    1. Pride: An inflated sense of self-importance can lead to pride, making it difficult to acknowledge one's need for God. Pride can prevent a person from seeking God's guidance, feeling that they can manage everything on their own.
    2. Self-Reliance: The ego often promotes a belief in complete self-reliance, undermining the dependence on God. It can lead to a lack of trust in God’s plan and an overemphasis on personal control and achievements.
    3. Lack of humility: Humility is essential in a relationship with God, as it allows one to be open to God's will and teachings. An inflated ego can make it hard to be humble and to accept that one does not have all the answers.
    4. Judgmental Attitudes: A strong ego can foster a judgmental attitude towards others, which is contrary to the teachings of many religious traditions that emphasize love, compassion, and forgiveness.  *I see a lot of this on social media these days.  
    5. Resistance to Change: The ego often resists change and the surrender required in a spiritual journey. This resistance can hinder personal growth and the deepening of one’s relationship with God.

    How do we overcome our ego for a healthier relationship with God?  

    1. Practice Humility: Regularly remind yourself of the importance of humility and the understanding that everyone is equal in the eyes of God.
    2. Prayer and Meditation: Engaging in prayer and meditation can help quiet the ego, creating space for a deeper connection with God.
    3. Service to Others: Acts of service and kindness towards others can diminish the focus on the self and enhance spiritual growth.
    4. Self-Reflection: Regular self-reflection and seeking feedback from others can help identify and reduce ego-driven behaviors.
    5. Study Religious Teachings: Studying the teachings of your faith can provide guidance on how to manage the ego and foster a closer relationship with God.
    By acknowledging the potential interference of the ego and actively working to minimize its impact, one can cultivate a more sincere, humble, and fulfilling relationship with God.
    The concept of the ego can be understood from various perspectives, including psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. Here’s a breakdown of what the ego is from these different viewpoints:

    Psychological Perspective

    Freudian Theory
    In Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, the ego is one of the three components of the human psyche, along with the id and the superego.
    The id is the primal, instinctual part of the mind, the superego is the moral conscience, and the ego is the rational part that mediates between the id, the superego, and reality. The ego operates on the reality principle, seeking to satisfy the id's desires in realistic and socially acceptable ways.

    Philosophical Perspective

    Self-Identity
    Philosophically, the ego often refers to the self or the individual’s sense of identity. It is the “I” or the self-aware part of the mind that distinguishes one person from another.
    Individuality
    The ego is associated with individuality and personal identity, representing the conscious, thinking subject.

    Spiritual Perspective

    Illusory Self
    In many spiritual traditions, the ego is seen as the false or illusory self that is overly attached to material possessions, personal success, and individual identity. It is often considered a barrier to spiritual enlightenment or union with a higher power and as I discerned with God, it's the only aspect of ourselves that Satan has access to.  

    Source of Suffering
    The ego is often viewed as a source of suffering because it creates a sense of separation from others and the divine. In this view, transcending the ego involves recognizing the interconnectedness of all things and letting go of selfish desires.

    Common Characteristics of the Ego

    1. Self-Importance: The ego tends to emphasize one's own importance and can lead to self-centeredness.
    2. Attachment to Identity: The ego is closely tied to one’s personal identity, including roles, achievements, and possessions.
    3. Defense Mechanisms: The ego employs defense mechanisms to protect itself from anxiety and to maintain a positive self-image. These mechanisms include denial, repression, projection, and rationalization.
    4. Fear and Insecurity: The ego often harbors fears and insecurities, leading to behaviors aimed at protecting the self-image.

    Balancing the Ego

    While the ego can have negative aspects, it is also necessary for navigating the world and maintaining a sense of personal identity. The key is to balance the ego by:
    1. Self-Awareness: Becoming aware of the ego’s influence on thoughts and behaviors.
    2. Humility: Cultivating humility and recognizing that one’s self-worth is not tied solely to external achievements or possessions.
    3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness and meditation to develop a deeper understanding of the self and to reduce the ego’s control.
    4. Compassion and Empathy: Fostering compassion and empathy towards others to counteract self-centered tendencies.
    By understanding and balancing the ego, individuals can lead more fulfilling and harmonious lives, both personally and spiritually.
    Conceptually speaking, if one considers oneself to be a manifestation or part of God, managing the ego involves recognizing the interconnectedness and unity of all existence. Here are some ways to control the ego and maintain a healthy balance:

    Understanding Unity and Interconnectedness

    • Oneness with All: Recognize that being part of God means being connected to everything and everyone. This understanding can diminish the sense of separation that the ego creates, fostering compassion and empathy.
    • Humility: Embrace humility by acknowledging that, as a manifestation of God, you are both significant and yet a part of a greater whole. This helps to balance self-importance with the awareness of the divine in others.

    Practicing Self-Awareness

    • Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices to become more aware of the ego’s influence on thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This awareness allows you to make conscious choices rather than being driven by egoic impulses.
    • Reflection and Meditation: Regularly reflect on your actions and meditate to connect with your higher self. Meditation can help quiet the ego and foster a deeper connection with the divine within.

    Cultivating Compassion and Service

    • Service to Others: Engage in acts of service and kindness, which shift the focus from the self to the well-being of others. Serving others reinforces the interconnectedness and reduces self-centeredness.
    • Compassion: Practice compassion towards all beings, recognizing the divine presence in everyone. Compassion naturally arises when one sees others as part of the same divine essence.

    Letting Go of Attachments

    • Non-Attachment: Practice non-attachment to material possessions, roles, and outcomes. Recognize that true fulfillment comes from the divine connection, not external achievements or possessions.
    • Acceptance: Accept life’s experiences without excessive judgment or resistance. This acceptance helps to reduce the ego’s need to control and manipulate circumstances.

    Embracing the Divine Will

    • Surrender: Surrender to the divine will, trusting that the greater intelligence of the universe guides your life. This surrender can reduce the ego’s resistance and need for control.
    • Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for all experiences, viewing them as opportunities for growth and deeper connection with the divine. Gratitude shifts the focus from what the ego lacks to the abundance of the present moment.

    Integrating Spiritual Practices

    • Prayer: Use prayer to communicate with the divine, seeking guidance and strength to keep the ego in check. Prayer reinforces the relationship with the divine and the acknowledgment of a higher power.
    • Study of Sacred Texts: Regularly study sacred texts and teachings that emphasize humility, service, and the nature of the self. These teachings can provide wisdom and perspective that counteract egoic tendencies.

    Note:  This is what I do in addition to recognizing when my ego is trying to discern or be a part of discernment with Spirit.  I simply tell my ego to "stand down" and I've even placed my ego in my heart chakra for healing which I did find to be helpful, but I still have to place the ego in check often.

    Maintaining a healthy balance of the ego while recognizing oneself as a manifestation of God involves deepening the understanding of unity, practicing mindfulness and compassion, letting go of attachments, and embracing the divine will. By integrating these practices, one can transcend the ego’s limitations and live in harmony with the divine essence within and around them by keeping in mind that the Kingdom of God is within you......and all around you.
    In Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, the human psyche is divided into three components: the id, the ego, and the superego. Each of these components plays a distinct role in the mind's functioning, and they often interact and conflict with each other. Here’s a detailed contrast between the ego and the superego:

    The Ego

    1. Role: The ego operates based on the reality principle. Its primary function is to mediate between the unrealistic demands of the id, the moralistic standards of the superego, and the realities of the external world.
    2. Consciousness: The ego encompasses conscious, preconscious, and unconscious elements. It includes our thoughts, perceptions, and memories that are currently in awareness, as well as those that can be easily brought into awareness.
    3. Function: The ego tries to satisfy the id’s desires in realistic and socially acceptable ways. It employs defense mechanisms to manage conflicts and reduce anxiety.
    4. Decision-Making: The ego is responsible for problem-solving and decision-making. It evaluates the pros and cons of actions and strives to maintain a balance between the demands of the id, the constraints of the superego, and the norms of society.

    The Superego

    1. Role: The superego operates based on the morality principle. It represents internalized societal and parental standards of right and wrong.
    2. Consciousness: The superego consists of both conscious and unconscious elements. It includes the conscience, which punishes the ego with feelings of guilt for wrongdoing, and the ego ideal, which rewards the ego with feelings of pride for morally acceptable behavior.
    3. Function: The superego aims to control the impulses of the id, especially those that society forbids, such as aggressive or sexual urges. It strives to make the individual behave in a morally acceptable way.
    4. Internalized Norms: The superego is formed through the internalization of parental and societal rules and norms during childhood. It acts as a moral compass, guiding behavior according to these internalized standards.

    Key Differences

    1. Basis of Operation:
    - Ego: Operates on the reality principle, focusing on pragmatic and realistic ways to satisfy desires.
    - Superego: Operates on the morality principle, focusing on ethical standards and moral judgments.
    2. Primary Function:
    - Ego: Mediates between the id, superego, and external reality; manages practical and realistic aspects of behavior.
    - Superego: Enforces moral standards and strives for perfection; punishes and rewards based on adherence to these standards.
    3. Source of Conflict:
    - Ego: Faces conflicts between the id’s desires, the superego’s moral restrictions, and the demands of reality.
    - Superego: Often conflicts with the id’s desires, aiming to suppress behaviors that are deemed immoral or socially unacceptable.

    Interaction

    - Mediator Role: The ego often acts as a mediator between the id and the superego. For example, if the id desires immediate gratification of a forbidden impulse, the superego will oppose this impulse on moral grounds. The ego must find a way to satisfy the id’s desire in a manner acceptable to the superego and realistic within the external world.
    - Defense Mechanisms: To manage conflicts and reduce anxiety, the ego employs various defense mechanisms, such as repression, denial, and rationalization. These mechanisms help balance the demands of the id and the superego.
    In summary regarding the two, the ego and the superego are distinct components of the psyche with different roles and functions. The ego focuses on realistic and practical decision-making, balancing the id’s desires with the constraints of reality and societal norms. The superego, on the other hand, emphasizes moral standards and strives for ethical behavior, often in conflict with the id’s impulses. Understanding these components helps in grasping the complexities of human behavior and inner psychological conflicts.

    Is the ego a pathway for Satan or evil spirits in general to drive us to say or do things that we wouldn't otherwise say or do?

    Yes, I believe so.  The concept of the ego as a potential pathway for negative or evil influences, such as Satan or malevolent spirits, has been discussed in various religious and spiritual contexts. Here’s a summary of how this idea is approached from different perspectives:

    1. Christianity:

    • Satan’s Influence: In Christian teachings, the ego can be seen as a vulnerable entry point for Satan's temptations. The ego, associated with pride, selfishness, and self-centeredness, is considered by many to be a root of sin. For instance, in the story of the Fall (Genesis 3), Satan tempts Eve by appealing to her ego—offering knowledge and power, which leads to disobedience of God. Pride is often cited as one of the key sins that distances people from God and opens them to satanic influence.
    • Scripture Reference: James 4:7 says, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." This implies that surrendering the ego (humility) and submitting to God is key to resisting evil.

    2. Catholic Mysticism:

    • In Catholic mysticism, the ego is often viewed as a barrier to spiritual union with God. Saints like St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila emphasize the need for humility and the stripping away of the ego to attain spiritual purity. The ego, left unchecked, is seen as fertile ground for temptation and spiritual distraction, which could be used by evil forces.

    3. New Age Spirituality:

    • In New Age teachings, the ego is often viewed as the aspect of the self that is disconnected from spiritual truth and divine consciousness. In this framework, the ego’s attachment to materialism, fear, and separation is seen as a gateway for negative energy or spiritual entities to influence behavior. In some teachings, evil spirits are said to exploit the ego’s weaknesses—fear, pride, or anger—driving people to act against their higher spiritual nature.

    4. Psychological Perspective:

    • While not religious, in psychology, particularly within Jungian theory, the ego is seen as the center of consciousness. If not balanced with the deeper self (the unconscious), the ego can become inflated, leading to destructive behaviors. Jung also talked about the shadow, which represents the darker, unacknowledged aspects of the self. If left unchecked, this shadow could lead individuals to actions they wouldn’t consciously endorse.

    The Ego as the Negative Voice

    1. Critical Inner Voice: The ego often manifests as a critical inner voice, reflecting fears, doubts, and insecurities. It can be shaped by societal expectations and personal experiences, leading to self-judgment and negative self-talk.
    2. Societal Influence: The ego can embody societal norms and pressures, pushing individuals to conform, compete, and compare themselves with others. This aspect of the ego is driven by external validation and the desire to fit in.

    God as the Unifying and Loving Presence

    1. Connection and Unity: In many spiritual traditions, God represents the ultimate source of connection, love, and unity. God is seen as the force that transcends individual differences and unites all beings in a web of compassion and mutual care.
    2. Positive Influence: God is often viewed as a positive, guiding presence that inspires individuals to act with kindness, empathy, and selflessness. This divine influence encourages people to see the best in themselves and others, fostering a sense of community and shared purpose.

    Balancing the Ego and Connection to God

    1. Awareness and Discernment: Recognizing when the ego is influencing thoughts and behaviors is crucial. By becoming aware of the ego's negative voice, one can choose to listen instead to the more compassionate and loving guidance that aligns with divine principles.
    2. Spiritual Practices: Engaging in practices such as meditation, prayer, and mindfulness can help quiet the ego's negative voice and strengthen one's connection to God. These practices promote inner peace, self-acceptance, and a sense of unity with others.

    Integrating Insights

    1. Self-Compassion: Cultivating self-compassion helps counteract the ego's negative voice. Recognizing one's inherent worth and treating oneself with kindness aligns more closely with the loving nature of God.
    2. Acts of Kindness: By focusing on acts of kindness and service to others, individuals can transcend the ego's self-centered tendencies and embody the divine qualities of love and compassion.
    The ego, with its critical and often negative voice, can indeed be influenced by societal pressures and lead to feelings of separation and inadequacy. In contrast, God represents a unifying, loving presence that connects all beings and inspires acts of kindness and empathy. By cultivating awareness, self-compassion, and engaging in spiritual practices, individuals can quiet the ego's negative voice and align more closely with the divine, enhancing their lives and the lives of those around them.

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